her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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