just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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