and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
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