no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
that's an acceptable place to lick
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
