your thong is hanging out like whoa
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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