i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
