You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
