If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize
