You're so nebulous sometimes
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
