Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
sex in a hospital.. check
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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