handjob tips. give me some.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
