He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
