Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
