just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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