Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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