I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
