her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
