omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize