apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
