i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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