Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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