worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Randomize
