Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Randomize
