Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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