you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Randomize
