OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
