I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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