out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
