You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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