What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
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