I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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