You were right. It hurts to walk today.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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