fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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