Betty ford says i'm here all night
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
