think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize