i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
