She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
