i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
