Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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