margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
