It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
