i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
my being single is dangerous.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
