he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize