dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Randomize
