Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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