He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
