Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize