ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
