you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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