Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
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