the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
