whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
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