covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Why is there bacon in the couch?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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