Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
