never play flip cup with pint glasses
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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