wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
