I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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