I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Randomize
