So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
