erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
