"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Randomize
