So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
