The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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