What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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