I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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