Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
