They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
