have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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