I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
