I must be too annoying 4 u.
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Me too!
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
