Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(201): View more from New Jersey

remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.

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(512): View more from Texas

Can Purell be used as lube?

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(317): View more from Indiana

I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.

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(614): View more from Ohio

i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.

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(785): View more from Kansas

So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.

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(513): View more from Ohio

he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.

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(860): View more from Connecticut

So many bounce houses so little time

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(207): View more from Maine

But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!

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(443): View more from Maryland

Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.

(1-443): View more from Maryland

I love my life

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