Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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