You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I wish you could order shots online.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
