you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
