well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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