yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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